Quick Reminiscent

Another free blogging in an inappropriate time. I’ll have a Telco Network midterm exam tomorrow but this comes to mind so I decided to write this down first.

I’ll be quick.

Time goes by too fast. Some other day not too long ago some friends of mum and dad said that I’d be soon graduated when they were told about what semester/year I was currently in. Said that my parents would also soon be the parents in law. And all that. And then now, just now, I realized the cold fact that it’s all true (partly, not about the parents in law thing). I reminisced the old days, about friends, the campus building, the cafetarias, the silly crushes talks, the photos, the events, the “what happened in those event”s, the apartment I was once in, the lunches, the late driving because of some late meetings, everything... Hell, I’m in my second year of uni, fifth semester. 3 more semesters and I’ll be supposedly done.

I gradually and clearly remember how I spent my uni orientation. I stayed for a couple of nights in Yusrina’s house. Her mother was really pretty and nice. We were not allowed to drive any kind of vehicles nor bring a single piece of money so we hid it in our socks. I still remember how I made my way through all those freshman year moments, crazy stuffs but  fun. I turnt 17 not so long after the orientation. I had so many good friends coming to my house in a rainy night all the way uphill (yes Setiabudi, my house ladies and gents), just for me. I was... well that was actually one of the good gold times I’ve ever had in my life.

To reminisce that, I get a bit shed of... loss. Those moments, those people... where are they now? No, not literally. I meet them frequently in campus and classes and God, they’re still as nice as they were and they will always be. But I guess... we all just have our own wolrd to revolve around, right? I have mine too. They have theirs. The memories remain. Very clear, up until now.

Enough about the past, now... the future. I cant say much. The clock is ticking and I’ll be forced to get back on my books again. But future, fuck knows what’s gonna happen. As thats what I threw out many many years ago in highschool. Exactly the same sentence, or word arrangement. I said it. I dont know. I dont wanna mess with the future, or what’s been called as the thing humans will never ever figure out. Nothing makes sense now, but it will when you see it backwards.

Future... my life. To be very honest, I was one of those people who would wear her worn out knit sweater in her room in a rainy Sunday with a warm cup of bitter coffee asking herself “what am I gonna do with my life?”. Everything about growing up, being old, being anything-independent, being wiser, tempt me. Yet also scare me to the point of depression. The uncertainties, the rough wake-up calls, rejections... they scare me. I am scared, of the future. Like any other teens in that phase. I am with you. And I feel you.