Farewell

My nightmare is to see people I love go away from my life.
That's probably the reason why I want to live a lot longer as long as I can. To find someone new, to replace those who have gone.
I always love the warmth of morning sun. It comes for a "hi" to me in my bedroom when I woke up. It's always warm and somehow relaxing. It's like the universe proving you that it loves you.

What do you think of when it happens like that? I'd think about all my life in 16 years. What I have done, what I havent done. What I have said, what I havent said. Who I loved, who I didnt love. What I've left. Where I havent been. Happiness, sadness, memories, family, deaths, births, mistakes, pride, laughs....

Until it gets me to a point that... I'm getting older. Everyone's getting older. Everyone's leaving in every second on earth. And everything dissapears. Both in peace and tears. Both what's dead or alive.
It's never forever, darling. Friends and family. The loved ones and the whores. We'll all be together again in the end.

But I dont want an end. I want, now. I want to be with those I love now.

Farewell, childhood.

Mind-Doodles

It's, on a low scale, frustrating.

Age. Places. People. Technology. Distance. Life. Friendship. Love. Rules. University. Hair. Blood pressure. Bedroom.
Happiness.
Happiness could be frustrating. Frustration could be fun.
Am I going crazy? I always am.
Am I an alien? Always.
It gets me to a point that alien is actually cool. It's different, and what's better than being different?
My goal to spend my life here for 4 more years is to learn. To learn about things in life, to be a discipline person and to appreciate everything I have in my life.
My life is pretty much coming back together now. The environment here can both pull you up higher or down, miserable. I choose to have a good environment. I dont want to make a mistake. I have to like it here right now and for the next years. Life's good.
I'll meet my old friends too in Uni by the way. Which is a very exciting thing cause I miss all of them. There'll be stories to tell and stories to learn :]
Dad said I could go to wherever I want with a requirement: straight As.
That's just another motivation. I cant just stay here in this place for any longer. I'd do whatever it takes to get me somewhere else. Or more specifically, Australia.

I am not frustrated. That was just an "intro", a warm up for this blog. I am happy, living a really good life and still not eating fish.