Midnight Writing

I'm writing this in the middle of the night. I cant stand my eyes but I really want to say something here.
So I was chatting with my friend yesterday, a junior in my highschool. Here are some of the whole nearly 2 hours chat I can remember.
A: Pure statements need pure facts. its a shame that thoughts are not facts.
A: I do freestyle, not choreography shit.
A: When it gets to the point where you dont know what your saying, its the point when you speak your mind.
A: Too many strong people holding this country.
A: I told you, my brain thinks too much.

And many more. I even asked him to remember everything he said and write it down and email it. The convo was interesting. And I'm truly amazed that a boy like him, which is a lot younger than me, could ever think about all those heavy stuff. From life, social, humanity, politic, education system, love... I gotta say that he's a genius. He's a damn genius in his own way. And at some points I know that being genius isnt only how you score in your academic status, but also how you think about things around you. How you react. How you speak. How you treat the world and all the surroundings. I'm 100% sure there's something out there waiting for him, something damn good.

Another one is from my overseas friend.
"Fuck you, you said your ugly in that vlog your not ugly your pretty don't put yourself down like that here have some of my positivity, I have lots of it".

I have to admit that that was damn harsh. Probably the most, I've ever heard -or read- this year. And he was directing those words, to me, obviously. At one side I hate to read it -and on a low scale, him- as there's the word fuck in there. Fuck, is a strong word. And for God sake I hate it. But at some points I realized he's right. I let myself down for nothing. I gave myself negativity shits. I hated my own guts. I didnt feel good about myself and etc. He taught me about positivity. He reminded me. He brought it back to me. He, who lives miles miles away, and not me.

Soo, I'd love to thank both of these friends of mine for being so nice and inspiring :) You guys are awesome.

BEST Screenshots

:) I know no one's gonna read and see this. But, I dont know how to show my addiction and love for BlackBoxTv. So, all I can do is take some screenshots, listen to their music, watch every vid of them (faved, liked, commented), meet them on Ustream, aaand... write about them :)

Furious Morning

So, I was still in bed, sleeping, while my mom and dad rushed in and ruined my heavenly time. It was freakin 6am and goddamn all I wanted to do was SLEEP, peacefully.
And all this chaos happened. They told me that I need to go outside more and not just sleep my ass all day. Go get a driving license, cooking course, drawing shits, swimming, jogging, renewing my passport, even babysitting if I didnt make them stop. Apparently, they're bored to see me at home.

Bloody holiday. I said I didnt sleep all day! I didnt even take a nap at all for a week! I did yoga, and you know what dad? YOU KNOW WHAT? I wanted to go outside myself since the very beginning of my holiday which is 1 month ago and all I could do was get refused and refused because mom and you were too busy and there was nothing to get myself out of the house. Not even a boat! And I'm sick of hearing all you want me to dos for my holiday which literally sound like me-being-a-maid-in-my-own-house.

While what I want for my summer break are just hunt for some books, buy dvds, renewing the inside of my closet -which means shopping-, vacation, basically, HAVE FUN. geezz God why is it so hard for old people to understand?

No, hell I'm not a rebel. I am never a rebel. I'm not saying that my mom and dad are old people either because they're young -literally and not-. They're not, like, old boring couple at all. They're fun and cool actually. But this is just silly. I found several, um, different opinions with them during this holiday. And I dont know was it just me passing a mind-developing-phase or my parents being weird.
ughhh.

Summer Break Happened

I've been feeling uncomfortable lately. And especially this morning.
First off, I'm not wearing plastic pants and wigs. It's because my dad told me I should do sport more.

BAM. Wut? I already have pilates class every week and I do yoga, arent they sport? Or actually, arent they sport, according to my dad? I mean, I could be sweaty so much when I'm in pilates class. I work my butt out and I feel thirsty after that, arent those what we call with 'sport'? And plus, pilates and yoga make you healthy. And they're kind of body builder exercises, so you're gonna get a better body shape. But I think he just wants me to do some outside exercises. Fresh air, more space. Whatever.

Another thing is actually, my holiday.
"What happened to your holiday?"
"My holiday happened."
Well, as much as I can say I enjoy my holiday, I actually find it -in a low scale- boring. I tried to entertain myself by reading bunch of books, dancing to some music like an I-need-to-pee-ASAP person, snacking, watching dvds that didnt make sense, decorating and cleaning back my room, shopping, book-hunting, and this is my favorite, sleeping.

All of them didnt really entertain me. I'm like grounded. Gosh, no car or bike or even boat to head outside and what am I supposed to do at home with my weird-ass maid that loves to talk to herself? I did lose several pounds but I doubt it'd keep losing because all the snacking habbit is just disturbing. Literally disturbing all my diet.
But I plan on doing some internet stuff, like, building another blog, making the Blackbox TV fam bigger, doing some books review for this blog -YAY- and so on :)

Yh, that's all from me this morning. I gotta do something, kind of in a rush. So, I'll talk to you later! <3

Would you ever try to write a book?

I'd more than love to :)

I'm open like a McDonalds, so ask away

Must Have Books for June!

I've been reading a lot during my holiday and I love it. I have much much love for books. We can be bffs even. So yesterday I was thinking that I could prob give you some book ideas to have. And trust me, I have the best list :)

So first line goes to:
Lauren Conrad's Sweet Little Lies.

she's sweet, isnt she? awww

This book is all about Hollywood and the lies stirred inside of it. I love how LC wrote things in an always funny way. Oh, she writes, actually. Inspiring, fresh and witty! So girly.

And  the second line goes to:
Candace Bushnell's The Carrie Diaries 

 This book, at a glance, looks like a Louis Vuitton purse. And the inside of it is just as interesting as LV purses. Remember Carrie Bradshaw and her life in New York? With her why-is-it-so-complicated love life and the glam of NYC, who knew she was just a small town girl? Innocent and funny. Lots of inspirational lines sprinkled all over the pages. :)

Aaand the last line goes to:
Dan Brown's Lost Symbol 

 If you're tired of girls drama, lies, tears, boys and stuff, then maybe this one is a fresh thrill for you. As usual, Dan Brown is a legit genius. This is the best of his books, I could say. Razor sharp storyline, facts that I never knew existed, brilliant. This novel tells us about what happened in less than 24 hours.


Soo, I think that's it. I only put three books on the list because I know you could never manage to read more than 10 novels in a month. Especially if you're not on a holiday. But please, eventhough you're not gonna read one of these books or even a book this month, make it for next month. Because reading is fun. I know how corny and BS that sounds like but really, be a friend of books.

I hunt for books every month and I try to collect as many good books as I can. I order some here and there, send some bookstores emails, be a bff with them and sometimes I just go to a place where people sell their used books with a very interesting price, and hunt again and again. Do you do the same? You should try :)
ps: I put the link to amazon.com if you wanna purchase them. Just click at the book's titles.

I Will Be, Someday

"What do you think about future?".
"Something that we dont know?".
"Are you worried about your future?".
"Isnt everyone?".

I opened my eyes this morning with a bunch of questions and quotes. Yh, I felt a lil bit older than my age. Isnt everyone worried about their future or at least whats gonna happen with them in the next 5 min? And do they wake up every morning wondering about it like me? Like, what I did this morning?

"Is my future husband really out there? At the grocery? Gym?"
"Are my kids gonna be like me? What if they turn out weepy and crazy?"
"Is my dreamjob gonna be a dream come true? Or is it always gonna be a dream at night?"
"Is my future boyfriend in this meeting room with me too? Or is he in the parking lot?"

And etc, literally there's too many of them. I cant seem to have the answer for each of them because I have no idea at all and -because I'm 16- I feel so bad, stupid, and wacky for not being able to answer them. Because, again, at school, when you cant answer the test you'll feel like a piece of crap sitting there for nothing. Unfortunately, still happens to me.

I just graduated from highschool a month ago -I'm on a 2-month-heaven-holiday-, and I still have this childish and sharp-asker mind. Things I see on movies or things I read on books and people's lifes really get my excitement to ask. Which is prob something that I shouldnt embrace right now. But I cant help. I'm curious. I'm curious about my future and what's gonna happen to me. Is that too much to ask?

I always want to be a busy woman. In a good way. A smart stylish career woman who wears a pair of Jimmy Choo and Bottega Veneta bag. Drive anywhere myself, buy my own car -or cars-, garden party, fashion line launchings, chic work room with a set of fluffy sofa, a trip to Europe for holiday -or Maldives, anyone?-... Who'd refuse all that? Seriously, I'd call that a life. Well, at least for now, as my brain is still rolling like a 12 years old. I always want to be a writer too. Yeah, it's crystal clear that people dont see anything writer-like in me. But heck, I dont care. I will find them in a line, waiting for me to sign their books.

I will be a writer someday. It's just not now, maybe.

And really, sometimes you just dont have to force the stream. I mean, I know it's nonsense but if you're like me, you think too much about future and stuff, sometimes you just have to go with it. Be friend with it. Love it. Love what you have. It'd be quite a boring phase but trust me, life is full of surprise. Wait for your turn :)